Did you see it?  Tell me.

Did you?

Yeah, neither did I.

But unlike other years, I actually did want to.  I truly thought about.   I thought about carving out a few hours to dabble in the Hollywood glitz and glamor of The Golden Globes.  I thought about dressing up in a tux and setting a fancy dinner and drink and pulling my table close to the TV and pretending to be part of the Hollywood elite.  I thought about pretending to be on edge just in case Ricky Gervais told a zinger about me.

I guess, truth be told, I’ve never really been into awards shows.  Two years back, we did a little Oscars party and contemplated making it annual thing, but it didn’t happen.  Maybe that’s because we rarely get to see any of the nominated films.  That changed a bit last year when they nominated ten films for Best Picture.

I don’t figure this year will be any different.  I’d say 75% of my movie viewing has been of the animated variety (yes, I saw Gnomeo & Juliet), and I can’t think of any film that I saw that would be on the level of The Artist… unless the final installment of Harry Potter counts.

Now there was a time, when I lived in the Los Angeles area, when I participated in an Oscar party or two, but that was before we had kids and we didn’t have to think about school the next morning.  Now that I’m in the Midwest, school and work come pretty early the next morning.

The funny thing is that entertainment related award shows are pretty silly.  Think about it.  Big time actors and musicians get all gussied up, climb out of a limo, walk along a red carpet, get interviewed by Hollywood Tonight, pose for the paparazzi, wave to the fans, get critiqued for their wardrobe, and pat themselves on the back.

So there, you see? It’s confirmed.  I’m jealous.

I took my daughter to see We Bought a Zoo the other night.  My wife and son had seen it the week before and really liked it, so on their recommendation we ventured out to the movies.

As a film, it was good.  Not great, but very good.  I found myself teary-eyed a few times (I’m becoming sentimental with age).  As a father, it struck a chord with me.  It challenged me in how I should communicate with my sons; how I should listen.  However, the biggest takeaway for me was the “20 seconds of courage.”

I can think of numerous times when I chose not to do something because I was afraid.  I was afraid of rejection.  Afraid of failure.  Afraid of the unknown.  I really hate fear.  Of course fear is not all bad.  It helps guide us so that we don’t do something so risky as to meet an early demise.  But it’s also that thing that holds us back from taking the appropriate risk.  That risk that elevates us to success.  Managing that fear really shouldn’t be that difficult, but it often is.

In We Bought a Zoo, Matt Damon and Thomas Haden Church’s characters talk about how it takes “20 seconds of courage” to propel yourself forward past the fear.  I like this idea because it’s so finite.  All you have to muster up is a third of a minute’s courage to take on the task that otherwise seems so daunting.  And if you survive the 20 seconds, you’re either on your way to success or ready to move on and face the next challenge.

It’s that 20 seconds the pushes us guys forward to ask out the beautiful girl.  It’s that 20 seconds that helps us make a phone call that we’ve been avoiding.  It’s that 20 seconds that allows us to walk on stage and talk to tens, hundreds, or thousands of people.

Many times in my life I have conjured up those 20 seconds of courage.  And sadly, many times I have not.  This film reminded me of many of those missed opportunities.  I hate that I’ve missed out and never want to miss out again.  Will I succeed?  I’m counting on more times than not.

Performance art is no mystery to you, and a good show may lead to the tossing of coinage.  So don’t hold back.  You’ve done some pretty crazy things on stage or in the subway before.  Remember that time you skipped naked through the airport terminal yelling, “I feel like a pickle!” as an artistic statement against bureaucratic existential hedonism?  What?  Surely I’m not the only one to have run through an airport naked…  All right, I probably am.  But I did get a few free meals out of it, and some fabulous new head shots: one from the side and one from the front.

This is an excerpt from the book The Starving Artist’s Diet.  To get your very own copy of The Starving Artist’s Diet visit www.starvingartistdiet.com.  It’s just that simple.

I said it almost a year ago.  And then I said I told you so a couple months ago. Now I can say I really told you so.  This one can be filed under the “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” category.  Right after the Golden Globes faded to black and everyone started clamoring about how offensive Ricky Gervais was as the host of the often disregarded awards show I said that he would be back as the host again this year.  A couple months ago, they made the announcement of his return while pretending to be trepidatious.

Here’s what I wrote on January 20, 2011:
Don’t be fooled for a minute.  All this hubbub about whether Ricky Gervais went too far with his jokes while hosting the Golden Globe Awards is pure Hollywood.  We all know the saying, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”  Well, this is one case where the saying is proven true.
Who was really offended by what Gervais said? The Hollywood Foreign Press Association?  Bruce Willis?  Mel Gibson?  Angelina Jolie?  Okay, maybe some of these people were a little hurt by Gervais’ comments, but so what?  Famous people are always subject to criticism.  Especially in the form of insulting jokes.  And when you hire someone like Ricky Gervais, what else would you expect?  You’d expect a guy who doesn’t give  a rip about the Hollywood establishment, to rip the Hollywood establishment.
And the Golden Globe Awards are the biggest beneficiary of Gervais’ outlandish, insulting performance.  I can’t remember the last time I watched the Golden Globes.  I couldn’t name past hosts, presenters, or winners.  For years the Golden Globes has been irrelevant.  While people would say that the Globes was a gauge for the Oscars, rarely did the winners of The Globes ever predict the winners of the Oscars.  So what has been the public opinion of the Golden Globes?  It’s been a resounding – SO WHAT!
Until now.  When was the last time anyone was still speaking about The Golden Globes a week later?  Thanks to Gervais’ outrageous behavior, all the news channels are still talking about The Globes.  Gervais is doing interviews on CNN.   If you type “Ricky” into Google, Ricky Gervais is the first choice to pop up.  Gervais has not only made The Golden Globes relevant for the first time in years, he has upped his star power too.  Sure he created The Office and HBO’s Extras, so he isn’t a no name, but until now I would not have said Gervais was a household name.  However, after his performance last Sunday, even the casual TV viewer may know the name Ricky Gervais.
So who’s really upset about Ricky Gervais going off on the Hollywood elite?  No one.  The Globes couldn’t afford to pay for this type of publicity.  So don’t be fooled by all the media hype over Gervais going too far.  I’ll go on the record right now that if Gervais is willing to come back as a host next year, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association will be glad to have him.  And next year, I may actually watch.
So here we are less than a week away from the “big” event and Mr. Gervais is set to host.  Surely you’re not surprised.  Obviously, I’m not.  And I really just may watch.  We all know Mr. Gervais will push the limits.  In fact, I would guess that he’ll push it a little further this year and the powers that be will act offended and pretend to have been caught totally off guard considering all the safety precautions they implemented.  And then… Mr. Gervais will be back again in 2013 ready to offend again.  Hollywood loves sequels.

I’ve decided that pickles are going to be the next big thing.  The next “bacon” if you will.  Why not?  Bacon’s had a very nice run and still tastes yummy, but why not pickles now?
Pickles are more complex in flavor and take a more mature palette than bacon.  Also, they’re a little friendlier to the heart and its network of arteries and vessels.  My daughter, Cali, thinks they are just the coolest thing ever… although she won’t eat them… yet.  But I think pickles are about to really break through the way bacon did a few years back.  In fact, I’m pretty sure you can do just about as much with a pickle as you can with bacon.  Maybe more.

Plus, 5,200,000 pounds of pickles are eaten in the U.S. every year.  That’s nine pounds per person!  Top that bacon! Okay, I’m sure bacon can top that, but bacon’s heavier to begin with.

Here are some of the great things about pickles:

Pickle juice cures muscle cramps.  And you can have it on hand for all your sports events.
Pickles may prevent scurvy.  Now that will come in handy.
You can make milkshakes with pickles.
Pickles are green.
You can fry pickles.  Have you ever tried pickle chips?
Shakespeare favored the pickle and used the word as a metaphor:

Oh, Hamlet, how camest thou in such a pickle? (Act 5, Scene 1)
Tis a gentle man here a plague o’ these pickle-herring! How now, sot! (Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5)
What say you?  Hence, Horrible villain! or I’ll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; I’ll unhair thy head; Thou shalt be whipp’d with wire and stew’d in brine, Smarting in lingering pickle.  (Anthony and Cleopatra, Act 2, Scene 5)

Pickles are nonexclusive.  They make themselves available to all religious communities unlike bacon (mainly because pickles don’t have hooves).
Pickles are phallic.
Come to think of it, you can pickle bacon.  Why you would want to, I don’t know, but you can. I’m pretty sure you can’t bacon pickles.

Ultimately, the word pickle is funnier than the word bacon.  Yes, they are both funny words according to the theory that words with the k sound are funnier than other words, but pickle ranks even higher on the funny scale because of the “ick” sound.  Let’s face it, “ick” is funnier than “ake.”  Right?  Just saying the word pickle should bring a smile to your face.  And I know from my comedy writing work, pickle is a go to word.  When all else is failing for a comedian, the three go tos are sex, cussing, and the word pickle.

So join me as I make this the year decade of the pickle.  It’s time has come.

 *This post was in no way intended to harm the bacon industry.  I love bacon. 

My four year-old son is a big The Incredibles fan.  He dressed as Dash for Halloween and has worn the costume to my other son’s Christmas program and then shopping the other day.  And in the last two days, he’s racked up two more viewings of the movie.

So file this one under the “Like Father, Like Son” category because as I listened to the movie play from my office, I thought about how much I liked the movie too.  In fact, I think it’s probably my favorite Pixar film.  Of course most of their work is top notch, but today this one really resonated with me.  Especially Mr. Incredible’s character (not because I think I’m incredible or can leap tall buildings in a single bound). What I relate to is his plight.  He was created to be incredible, a super hero, but one day he was relegated to a desk job handling insurance claims.

Just like any career, taking care of insurance claims is important work, but I think we’d all agree that it was not the work Mr. Incredible was created to do.  As I have thought about this more and more, I believe that many of us are lured into that “desk job” because of social pressures, a desire for money, or merely a desperate need for money.  Instead, we should be looking at our futures with both head and heart.  We should look for a way to combine our calling (a heart issue) with a way to make a reasonable living (a head issue).

I believe there is a divine relationship between who we are and what we do or should do.  Sounds pretty logical, but is there that connection in your work life?  What if it were as simple as going back to when we were between the ages of five and ten and looking at our response to the question of what we wanted to be when we grew up?  Of course, we’d have to create a filter for the typical fireman, baseball player, ballerina response and take into consideration that there are a lot of jobs kids don’t know about.  But how did you answer that question back then?  It was probably a decision made solely based on dreams, passion, and love instead of one based on outside pressures, skewed perceptions, and obligation.

Maybe we could actually get a better read on career selections by looking at the five year old’s answer instead of personality and IQ testing.

If Mr. Incredible had existed when I was five years old, I’m pretty sure I would have put that career on my “when I grow up” list.  Now at 42, I’m daily pursuing the goal of being “Mr. Incredible.”  Yes, I want to be a super hero (when I grow up).  Actually, what I want is to pursue being incredible, and the only way to really do that is to do what I was created to do.

I want this for my kids too.  So next year, when my four year-old turns five, I’ll have to schedule an appointment to help him with his career planning.