Writing a sitcom looks pretty easy, doesn’t it?  Twenty-five minutes of families or hipster friends sharing witty banter amidst getting themselves into sticky situations that faintly mirror real life.  How can that be hard?  In fact it is very hard, and may be arguably the hardest writing around.  Why?  Because not only do you have to write a good story, but you have to be funny, work within specific constraints of commercial breaks, and do it in a limited number of pages.
On top of that, if you want to break-in as a sitcom writer, you need to be able to write episodes for existing shows.  It only makes sense considering most sitcom writers work for shows they did not create.  So put away your pilot sitcom script and follow these six steps to writing a sitcom spec.

1. Watch the show. if you want to write a spec script for a current show, you need to watch it over and over. DVR all the episodes so you can go back and note all the catch phrases, how often they’re used, and who says them. You’ll also want to know where all the doors lead and what set pieces are where.

2. Get a list of all the episodes. You don’t want to write a story that has already been done.  Do this early on because it is that much harder to start from scratch when you’re halfway done with your script.

3. Brainstorm. I like to go to the library and pull a stack of magazines off the shelves. Avoid the entertainment related mags and pick some that maybe the characters from your show would read. What I do is look through the pages at the articles and advertisements and see what ideas come to mind. Many of the images tell stories that are perfect launching pads for your sitcom plot. The goal as with any brainstorming is to come up with a ton of ideas so that you have enough options. With every script there are at least two and often more story lines so you want a lot to choose from.

4. Pitch your story ideas to a friend. A trustworthy second opinion will greatly benefit your writing and hopefully help you avoid writing a script with no appealing “A” story.

5. Create an outline. Before you start scripting, you need to know your ending and your act breaks. If you are writing a two act sitcom, you need to have a big turn, preferably with a big joke at the end of your first act. This is called “the blow”. If you outline your story before scripting, you’ll save yourself a lot of headaches later in the scripting process. You won’t have everything mapped out in your outline, but you’ll at least know where you’re going.

6. Write. Creativity in general and writing specifically are like muscles. You have to work them out. Put all your effort into writing your first script and be ready to rewrite once you’ve passed it by some of your honest friends for feedback. (When we write, we ask our friends to read our work and give us feedback.  Of course what our hearts want is praise, but what we really need is true constructive criticism.  Ditch any attitude and really be willing to listen to and contemplate the advice.)  But once you’ve done that, it will probably be time to move on to your next script. The more you write, the better you will get, which is obvious, but the more you write on different projects the better critic you will become of your own work. One of the best things you can do with your work is set it down for a while and then come back to it. You’ll see the flaws more clearly and be ready to make the script better.

All writing is about rewriting.  A good script is not completed in one pass.  It’s intense work.  It takes serious brainstorming and research and then the discipline to actually sit down and write.  Make yourself a schedule and then follow it because if your a true writer, you’ll probably find a hundred other things to do to instead of write.  That’s just the way it is.

Thomas Mann once said, “A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than for other people.” Keep this in mind as you write your sitcom spec or any other work.  If you’re in the middle of your piece and you say, “this is easy,” then you’re probably writing crap.  A true writer will struggle with the material and labor over it.  The same can be said for writing sitcoms.  What ends up as laughter inducing fun on the page and maybe screen must first start with severe labor pains.

As you go forward in this pursuit, pour your heart into it because comedy writing is a serious craft.

While many of the sitcoms you’ve seen look like they could have been written by a monkey with a typewriter, it goes to show that sitcom writing may actually be the most difficult writing style in existence. Why? Well, not only do you have to know how to write a script which means you need to understand plot, but you need to be funny, concise, and do it all with a sense for where the commercial breaks come.

So before you start cranking out your masterpiece, here are a few basic rules to keep in mind.

1. Follow proper formatting. A sitcom script is formatted differently than a screenplay or stage play and even an hour long television drama. The formatting also depends on whether you plan for you sitcom to be shot single camera or multi-camera (and yes it matters). A sure sign that you don’t know what you’re doing is to use improper formatting. Find your favorite show, get a copy of that script, and follow the formatting. It’s just that easy.

2. Never have a misspelled word or major grammatical error on your first page. You want to make a good first impression. Rarely will you find a script with no misspellings. Everybody makes mistakes, but to do it on your first page tells the reader that you didn’t pay attention to detail and they can expect several errors on the following pages… even if it isn’t true. So read, reread, and re-reread that first page. Then do that for the rest of your script.

3. Puns are not funny. Try to avoid them at all costs.

4. Sitcoms are about characters. These characters have a way of getting into situations that allow the comedy to come out. That’s why they are called “situation comedies”.

5. Sitcoms are about story. So once you have believably flawed characters, you need to develop a storyline that has all the essential elements of good storytelling. Sitcoms are not just sketches or gags. They are real stories that are infused with comedy.

6. Don’t try too hard to be funny. The funny will come if you’ve created excellent characters and put them in compelling situations.

7. Be willing to cut your funniest joke. Usually, you’ve written that one for yourself. Enjoy it. Laugh at it. Then cut it.

8. Learn to accept criticism. Writing is a torturous business. Writing is meant to be read (at least initially with scripts). So once we’ve written something, we usually ask someone we respect to read it and share their opinion. Of course, what we really want is for someone to say how great it is and tell us we’ve created the next “Friends” or “Cheers”, but if someone tells you that, they’re a liar. The person that says that just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Instead you need to get a thick skin, find a person who will tell you the hard truth and then take the advice and begin rewriting.

9. Rewrite. Any kind of writing is about rewriting. Don’t fall in love with your first draft. The first draft is just the tip of the iceberg. There is always room for improvement.

10. Know how long a sitcom script should be. If you are writing a multi-camera script it will be longer than a single camera script. A multi-camera script will be around 45 pages long. Think two pages per minute of screen time. Sitcoms (especially multi-camera) are dialogue intensive so the pages can turn fast. A single camera script will be closer to 30 pages. Both scripts have the same amount of words. They are just formatted differently. The best thing to do is get a sample script of the type of show you are writing. This way you will see why one type of script is longer than another.

BONUS TIP!

11. Only use two brass brads. When binding your script, use three hole punched paper, but put brads only in the top and bottom holes. Why? First, that’s what they do in Hollywood. Second, it saves you money. Third, it’s good for the environment and people in Hollywood love to look like they support that cause. In Hollywood, appearance is half the battle, so even your script needs to look the part.

While rules were  made to be broken, as a new sitcom writer trying to break in, you’re better off following them for the time being.  Once you’re running your own show then you can risk the fate of your show by breaking the rules.

Go ahead.  Take it.  Use it however you want.  I give you permission to put on your eye patch, peg leg, and parrot and pirate away.

I’m not afraid of my work being stolen.  Why?  Not because it won’t happen, but because it will and there’s not much anyone can do about it.  Sure we can sue, but who’s really going to benefit from that?  You’re right… the lawyers.  And what group most often benefits from new legislation?  You’re right again. The lawyers.  And that’s what SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and PIPA (Protect IP Act) would open the door to -  lawyers benefiting from more nebulous, poorly written legislation.

I worked in the entertainment industry for over 15 years and spent 12 of those in Los Angeles.  On several occasions, I knew or was pretty sure my work had been stolen.  However, I didn’t really have good proof, so I just moved on to my next project.

Even today, despite the fact that I no longer live in L.A., I still learn about new instances of my intellectual property being stolen.  Recently, I was talking to a friend about a pitch I’d made for Curb Your Enthusiasm, which dealt with Cheryl being diagnosed with kidney disease and Larry being a perfect match.  If you know the show, Larry would not be a person willing to give his kidney to anyone… even his wife.  I was relating the story recently because we were talking about the show I felt it was a great idea.  After I told my friend, she responded, “Oh, they did something like that with Richard Lewis’s character needing a kidney.”

I was floored.  I did a little research and discovered that the series of shows aired about a year after I pitched the idea.  I have other examples like this, but this one was the most blatant.  Maybe it was an innocent mistake.  They read the idea, passed and then later thought they came up with it on their own.  It happens.  However, I do know they read it because they requested the pitch through my agent at Gersh and then rejected it.

The irony is that big studios “take” creative work all the time, yet cry all the time about others taking their work.  Obviously we want to stop or at least minimize piracy, but when legislation like SOPA and PIPA appear, we need to put on the brakes and rethink the purpose.  Those in support, claim that piracy can cause the loss of hundreds of thousands of jobs.  On the other hand, giving courts the ability to shut down legitimate online businesses without as much as a trial would be even more devastating.  That’s the denial of liberty.

So go ahead and steal this post.  Use it however you want.  I’m good with it.  I’d rather take that risk than the risk of more our freedom being taken by our government.

The only thing more appropriate for the online protest by many of the major internet companies would have been for the internet to go dark in protest over SOPA and PIPA on Speak like a Pirate Day.  Then we all could have said a few “Arrghs” and “Avast ye mateys” as we let Congress know our thoughts about their potential, over-reaching legislation.

I wanted more traffic to my site, so I wrote this post about sports.  That’s what it takes.  Nobody really cares about my musings on pickles or art, but I drop the name Peyton Manning or something sports related and people start clicking.  I’m pretty sure anything NFL related get the highest traffic.

I have to admit, I’m a sucker for a story about Purdue basketball, the Colts, the Pacers, or the Cincinnati Reds.  And I’m not really sure why I care.  I really wish I didn’t.  I know that sports are great for a community’s healthy interaction and vital economic engines that create jobs through merchandise sales, restaurant sales, and tourism to name a few.  Indianapolis is one city that has done very well in profiting off the sports market by hosting multiple major events such as the NCAA Final Four, the Big Ten basketball tournament, the inaugural Big Ten football playoff game, and now the Super Bowl.

In Indiana, we’re a bit sports crazy.  My wife insists it’s at a different level compared to other places.  I’m not sure I agree considering we’ve never experienced first hand the insanity of Green Bay, Cleveland, or Pittsburgh.  She bases this comment on the intensity of the youth sports programs here, but we didn’t have kids who were sports playing age before moving to Indiana, so her theory has lots of holes.  I think, as a whole, we have all just become a little more sports centric.  Culture demands it because so many businesses are dependent on sports.  Without a strong sports culture, the bar scene would probably be cut by a third.

Sports have become a vital part of our culture.  If a business doesn’t actually trade in sports, sports is at least used as a social object, a conversation piece, or something to rally around over business meetings, lunches, and coffee breaks.  Maybe if sports never existed we’d spend more time talking about the theater and the arts, but probably not.  Instead we’d probably just invent sports.

Did you see it?  Tell me.

Did you?

Yeah, neither did I.

But unlike other years, I actually did want to.  I truly thought about.   I thought about carving out a few hours to dabble in the Hollywood glitz and glamor of The Golden Globes.  I thought about dressing up in a tux and setting a fancy dinner and drink and pulling my table close to the TV and pretending to be part of the Hollywood elite.  I thought about pretending to be on edge just in case Ricky Gervais told a zinger about me.

I guess, truth be told, I’ve never really been into awards shows.  Two years back, we did a little Oscars party and contemplated making it annual thing, but it didn’t happen.  Maybe that’s because we rarely get to see any of the nominated films.  That changed a bit last year when they nominated ten films for Best Picture.

I don’t figure this year will be any different.  I’d say 75% of my movie viewing has been of the animated variety (yes, I saw Gnomeo & Juliet), and I can’t think of any film that I saw that would be on the level of The Artist… unless the final installment of Harry Potter counts.

Now there was a time, when I lived in the Los Angeles area, when I participated in an Oscar party or two, but that was before we had kids and we didn’t have to think about school the next morning.  Now that I’m in the Midwest, school and work come pretty early the next morning.

The funny thing is that entertainment related award shows are pretty silly.  Think about it.  Big time actors and musicians get all gussied up, climb out of a limo, walk along a red carpet, get interviewed by Hollywood Tonight, pose for the paparazzi, wave to the fans, get critiqued for their wardrobe, and pat themselves on the back.

So there, you see? It’s confirmed.  I’m jealous.

I took my daughter to see We Bought a Zoo the other night.  My wife and son had seen it the week before and really liked it, so on their recommendation we ventured out to the movies.

As a film, it was good.  Not great, but very good.  I found myself teary-eyed a few times (I’m becoming sentimental with age).  As a father, it struck a chord with me.  It challenged me in how I should communicate with my sons; how I should listen.  However, the biggest takeaway for me was the “20 seconds of courage.”

I can think of numerous times when I chose not to do something because I was afraid.  I was afraid of rejection.  Afraid of failure.  Afraid of the unknown.  I really hate fear.  Of course fear is not all bad.  It helps guide us so that we don’t do something so risky as to meet an early demise.  But it’s also that thing that holds us back from taking the appropriate risk.  That risk that elevates us to success.  Managing that fear really shouldn’t be that difficult, but it often is.

In We Bought a Zoo, Matt Damon and Thomas Haden Church’s characters talk about how it takes “20 seconds of courage” to propel yourself forward past the fear.  I like this idea because it’s so finite.  All you have to muster up is a third of a minute’s courage to take on the task that otherwise seems so daunting.  And if you survive the 20 seconds, you’re either on your way to success or ready to move on and face the next challenge.

It’s that 20 seconds the pushes us guys forward to ask out the beautiful girl.  It’s that 20 seconds that helps us make a phone call that we’ve been avoiding.  It’s that 20 seconds that allows us to walk on stage and talk to tens, hundreds, or thousands of people.

Many times in my life I have conjured up those 20 seconds of courage.  And sadly, many times I have not.  This film reminded me of many of those missed opportunities.  I hate that I’ve missed out and never want to miss out again.  Will I succeed?  I’m counting on more times than not.